24 July 2009

A pic of me from last year showing how i felt this morning, posterized for some anonymity lol...

I must have been having some very sissy dreams last night! Between that and my humiliating new obsession with finding cock to suck, I woke up pantieless and with my nightie up around my nipples, and with my sissy stick very excited *blush*. I wanted to cum so badly but I knew I’d have to do it with my pluggy in and then lick it up after if I wanted to follow Sissy Master’s rules.

I am very lazy and woolly headed in the morning, so I almost turned over and went back to sleep for the half hour I had left before the alarm went off.

But I got to thinking about how dominant and manly Master X would be (I picture him in leather trousers and teeshirt, carrying a penis gag in his hand) and how much his rules and assignments both help and excite me. And then of course I just couldn’t help myself: I got my plug and dildo out of the bedside table, put the dildo in my mouth, and put a lubed condom on the plug.

Lying on my back and spreading my legs, I imagined a Master Daddy pushing my plug in while he was calling me a “cocksucking sissy”, and the strangest thing happened -as my piggy plug popped all the way in, and the lace ruffle and satin of my nightie brushed my nipples, I had a sudden shuddering orgasm and came all over my tummy (lucky I didn’t sleep in my boned girdle last night!) without once ever touching my dickie…

This is the first time this has ever happened to me (and I have played with my dildo on the odd occasion up there) and omigod, it made me feel both humiliated and penetrated, but so feminine and submissive and not altogether in control of my body. I sort of both fear and love what is happening, and I did remember to scoop up all of my warm sissy cream with my fingers and deposit it in my mouth.

This is what is happening to me…I have cum only three times since starting to apply some of the rules.

I am still girdling and felt really full very quickly eating dinner last night, and my posture has improved lol: I was thinking about maybe keeping a record here of my weight and waist measurements but am not sure if it’s totally vain and off-putting to people.

Oh and more minor sissy humiliation at work today (I was in a very manly environment to do a job), with my plucked eyebrows, nude lip gloss and hair in a little girl’s hair tie – do you remember the sort that are an elastic band with two plastic bobbles attached? The ones on this hair tie are pink cubes with coloured hearts on them, so very cute and sissy. And because I am girdling I have to wear my work pants cinched high on my waist now otherwise they fall down to mid hip.

I feel like I am changing both my persona and features - for the better ultimately - although there is fear and trepidation involved as well. I am beginning to wonder if I should change my name to reflect this other change? I am casting around for suggestions but I really like Melissa (Lissa, sissy lissie): what do you think? xox

LATER

I have followed some sound advice and put up a collarme.com profile, "misslissie": i wonder if i'll get a message? xox