15 August 2009

last night’ show, first one back after six months – yay!

****Miss Dee’s poll has finished! ****** By a slim margin more people think i am better as Kayla Kent, sexy sissy whore: beating narrowly cute little sissy lissie in ribbons and ruffles. What does this mean to me? i guess that i’m more of a little, cutesy prissy sissy than i thought, the pics i did happened quite easily and quickly…and that only happens if there is an innate talent/predilection for it... and i know that Kayla Kunt with blonde hair will be hot, especially/even when dressed as a little satin party dress gurl.

i am finding being a feminised sissy gurl, the mix of kayla and sissy lissie, quite liberating: i know people look at me and wonder etc but i also know some of them are wanting to touch me or put their cocks in me. it makes me feel very sexy indeed and i have found myself wiggling my bottom more, or bending over unnecessarily to fix a shoe strap etc.

And i’m so proud of how the gig went, how the band played, how i wore my stripper heels all night, how i tried to speak in a soft and feminine manner surrounded by all those very manly and some quite scary men, how the burlesque girls treated me much more like one of themselves (with the first one, petite Miss K D being very nice, supportive and attentive), and how sissy and sexy i felt in my dress with my new tiered satin petticoat.

i'd so love if this band got famous: beauty salons in the morning, recording in the afternoon, world tours and shopping opportunity and living as a punk-rock princess full time!!!

i have been carrying my purse to all but the roughest areas or conservative jobs, even to pick up and drop off the P.A. i got ready at home tonight and my pretty satin dress doesn't have any pockets so i definitely needed it!! It's also easier to find stuff in a bag rather than search pockets.

More gigs, more of an excuse to get hair done too. still looking for an appropriate and good salon, have almost decided on blonde with highlights, but i’m worried about the effect of going from black to blonde on my hair.

And so although i have spent half the weekend in the car and dropping off PA's and amps etc and am a tired gurl, i feel the whole weekend was a success - especially feeling SO effeminate and frilly next to all the blokey men at the party.

Xox sissy Kayla Kent

7 August 2009 - PART TWO

PART TWO

Finally after two days of solid work I had time for my maid dress pictures! Omigod I am buzzing with femmy feelings after doing these pics and I am going to keep this post short: my pussy is all fluttery and I soooooo need someone to spank and do bad things to me :). Please tell me what you think!

xox Kayla

5 August 2009

an average work morning, wishing for more feminine outerwear

I’ve been very well behaved and very chaste the last couple of days, concentrating on beauty maintenance and being more femme, trying to switch my attention whenever anything arouses me (which is quite often when you try to be a good sissy!) to something productive and feminine.

I have been reading a bit of Miss D’s blog on chastity and find I have to agree – not cumming like a boy means lots more suspended sexual tension, and this makes me feel very gurly - so even when i need to relieve myself i have to use my dildo and try and "tip over" into a pussy orgasm rather than a quick but unfulfilling boy orgasm. i am very turned on by the thought of a chastity device, as this removes any temptation whatsoever…

I love the look of the CB3000, but you would be amazed what a creative sissy can do with ribbons to wrap and weave and knot a clitty into submission – pushing home the fact that the most male part of a sissy is also the most teeny and feminized.

Am still wearing my girdle and proper girly underwear to work, can’t wait to see the results in six months or so!

And because my new maid dress arrived, i went out tonight (in just shirt and pants with underwear and fake boobs in), very visible under shirt. i went to club x, a sort of chain adult store, and found the sweetest white ruffled maid panties to match the dress! there was only couple other people in there, but i felt quite sissy but also very entitled standing at the lingerie racks, and looking at some of the wicked toys lol...

Something fell over while i was at counter, the guy twitched, and the girl behind me made eye contact and smiled and said "must have been a ghost!" i raised an eyebrow and said "oo, spooky!" - not an exciting exchange except for the fact that she reacted to me like i was a girl, and i responded in kind - i didn't realise i was actually that feminine in demeanour already.

Have been stuck working very hard at the moment so am trying to find time to do pic in my new maid outfit – if not by this weekend then I am wearing it for the show next weekend, much pics then for sure!!!

xox lissa

A gurl has many faces and I am no exception

Sometimes, I feel like Kayla Kent (maybe it should be Kayla Kunt - a little too obvious? LOL), an insatiable porn actress who is very eager to please. Kayla has a naughty mind and loves anything kinky. Kayla is all about men - lots and lots of men.

And at other times, I feel like the typical gurl next door, Lissa; quietly sensual, confident and friendly. Lissa loves to shop and go on dates and just be herself. She loves a romantic evening by candlelight.

And in between those times, I am a little ashamed to admit this, but I want nothing more than to be a little sissy gurl, sissy lissie; who belongs in the most outrageous frills and ruffles. lissie is an utter sissy that needs a strong, dominant Mistress to collar her.

It seems, I am full of gurlish fantasies and I would love to hear from everyone about which role you think I am best suited for - maybe all of them? Don't be afraid to leave your comments, I am looking forward to reading them.

(and special thanks to Miss D for help with this one), love and luck to all :)

xox lissa

26 July 2009

Girdled for bed, in my favourite heavy satin long black nightgown and red bra & knickers, do you think I will make men’s cocks hard?

I was wondering tonight, what is the purpose of a sissy? Obviously to serve and train and behave, but as Miss D pointed out, the end purpose of transforming is to become a fetish sissy pleasure doll for men: tiny waist, big breasts, lingerie, and things like long red acrylic nails. Do you remember the old Forced Womanhood magazine covers?

I have admitted my fate and am posting some pics of me ready for bed and my hour’s plugging (and if I can’t stop, a sissy anal orgasm). I know I can’t hide forever so I might as well get some practise – it makes me quiver to think of men looking at them and getting hard.

And the big question dear readers, am I to go blonde? I have done the goth-rock black for years and it is akin to changing religions…but I know it will further sissify me in public, and make me more into a playboy bunny type sissy slut.

If I wait till I’m ready I never will be. Thanks Miss D, and all commenters: I crave feedback and will reply too.

xo lissa

25 July 2009

My boned, lace up girdle; “Caresse” label (circa 1960’s); and my dildo and piggy tail plug.

Rather than moan about my late night having to be a punk rock boy (albeit still in panties, eye makeup, and wearing legwarmers over my tight girl’s jeans) and then describe my return home, 3 glasses of wine, fours hours laced in to my girdle awake and then five hours asleep, divided by a powerful anal orgasm (second now!) while bouncing up and down on my pluggy in girdle, panties and nightie.

I was pretending I was astride a powerful daddy with his big hands on my hips, one of my smooth hands holding my dildo up to my mouth, the other rubbing the area behind my sissy plums, again not touching my clit beyond a peremptory few rubs….

And again being a sissy faggot and licking up all my sissy cream…

…I thought I’d do a quick list summarizing my sissy progress on the eve of the end of the week.

Days in bra and panties – 7

Days in lip gloss and clear nail polish - 7

Days fully shaved and tweezed - 6

Days in pantyhose or leggings (vicious winter here!) - 7

Days in elastic girdle – 4

Evenings in boned vintage girdle – 4

Nights (asleep) in boned girdle - 1

Times spent at least 1 hour plugged – 4

Times swallowing cum – 4

Stroked orgasms – 2

Anal orgasms – 2

Times working fully femmed -1

Times embarrassed getting fuel at petrol station – 1

Current weight – 73 kilo/160 lbs

Height – 177cm/5’10”

Waist ungirdled – 81cm/32”

Waist girdled – 72cm/30” at narrowest part

I am feeling more and more femmed and know I have little choice in the matter as my true sissy gurl nature comes forth. As Miss D put it, “so it is all for the best that you become sexually adapted to being a gurl anyway”. And following Master X’s Sissy Master rules my having to swallow cum everytime I orgasm just reinforces that fact. I’m scared and excited and worried and feeling sexy, all because I know I’m truly not male anymore but something else.

xox melissa.

24 July 2009

A pic of me from last year showing how i felt this morning, posterized for some anonymity lol...

I must have been having some very sissy dreams last night! Between that and my humiliating new obsession with finding cock to suck, I woke up pantieless and with my nightie up around my nipples, and with my sissy stick very excited *blush*. I wanted to cum so badly but I knew I’d have to do it with my pluggy in and then lick it up after if I wanted to follow Sissy Master’s rules.

I am very lazy and woolly headed in the morning, so I almost turned over and went back to sleep for the half hour I had left before the alarm went off.

But I got to thinking about how dominant and manly Master X would be (I picture him in leather trousers and teeshirt, carrying a penis gag in his hand) and how much his rules and assignments both help and excite me. And then of course I just couldn’t help myself: I got my plug and dildo out of the bedside table, put the dildo in my mouth, and put a lubed condom on the plug.

Lying on my back and spreading my legs, I imagined a Master Daddy pushing my plug in while he was calling me a “cocksucking sissy”, and the strangest thing happened -as my piggy plug popped all the way in, and the lace ruffle and satin of my nightie brushed my nipples, I had a sudden shuddering orgasm and came all over my tummy (lucky I didn’t sleep in my boned girdle last night!) without once ever touching my dickie…

This is the first time this has ever happened to me (and I have played with my dildo on the odd occasion up there) and omigod, it made me feel both humiliated and penetrated, but so feminine and submissive and not altogether in control of my body. I sort of both fear and love what is happening, and I did remember to scoop up all of my warm sissy cream with my fingers and deposit it in my mouth.

This is what is happening to me…I have cum only three times since starting to apply some of the rules.

I am still girdling and felt really full very quickly eating dinner last night, and my posture has improved lol: I was thinking about maybe keeping a record here of my weight and waist measurements but am not sure if it’s totally vain and off-putting to people.

Oh and more minor sissy humiliation at work today (I was in a very manly environment to do a job), with my plucked eyebrows, nude lip gloss and hair in a little girl’s hair tie – do you remember the sort that are an elastic band with two plastic bobbles attached? The ones on this hair tie are pink cubes with coloured hearts on them, so very cute and sissy. And because I am girdling I have to wear my work pants cinched high on my waist now otherwise they fall down to mid hip.

I feel like I am changing both my persona and features - for the better ultimately - although there is fear and trepidation involved as well. I am beginning to wonder if I should change my name to reflect this other change? I am casting around for suggestions but I really like Melissa (Lissa, sissy lissie): what do you think? xox

LATER

I have followed some sound advice and put up a collarme.com profile, "misslissie": i wonder if i'll get a message? xox

22 July 2009 - Part 2

Pictures of my elastic girdle, and what I wore to work tonight

Ok lol – so I did do makeup and hair as you can see from the pics here: I was brave and just wore dress and heels to first job. Odd-ish look from one delivery guy I bumped into but otherwise quiet. I felt so feminine with my pantihose rubbing, my push-up bra and fillets jiggling, the restriction of my girdle and the click of my inch and a half heels, I wish I could do this all day J I love the feeling of my Rimmel red plumping lipstick, it makes lips so full and shiny; perfect for those little tasks…I also think my hair (although it needs re-colouring) looked very girly tonight.

Then of course Murphy’s law struck, I needed fuel on the way to next job so I had to stop in at a petrol station and get it. The guy behind the counter kept trying to look away but his horrified gaze kept creeping back to my face, my nervous man voice at odds with full face of makeup, dress and black push up bra heehee. Again I was brave (for me, I know other people do this without much fuss) and swished back to the car, wiggling my girdled bottom.

At my last job no-one was around so I took five minutes to model my outfit – I had so much fun! I love how you can just see my ruffled panties under the open bottom girdle. Oh, I wonder if any Daddies are out there looking? I am in love with Nancy Ganz shapewear too, and want to explore figure training some more.

I have been thinking about sucking and licking hard hot cocks all afternoon, my swishy sissy obsession at the moment. On the way home from my last job I drove past an adult book store and almost stopped and went in – imagine going in dressed to a booth, and feeling hands on you – but I was a scared little pussy girl and kept going lol…

Ah well. I think I’ve been brave enough for one night. Peace, love and understanding to all, xox